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| Summer Evening, Edward Hopper, 1947 walking home lights of the city behind them leaves rustle with the wind locusts hum her sandals clicking, clacking as the moon plays hide and seek with the clouds heat lightening flashes She jumps He moves closer She walks faster Her words "It's late" Lost in the distant rumble Of thunder Ozone and old spice Follows her The porch light a beacon Steps Creaking,cracking A bedroom light flickers on He reaches for her hand "Could I see you again?" His words floating loudly Through the suddenly still air A bedroom light flickers off She leans into the darkness Towards him Feeling his smile Whispering As he brushes her cheek With his lips "Yes" C.M. Jackson 2011 This is a Magpie Tale---sashay here for more! |
08 August 2011
Magpie Tales-Yes
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16 comments:
smiles...ozone and old spice...and i am glad she said yes...this has a great feel to it...
Brian--me too! you have a wonderfule day!
Brandee--
Thanks for the kind words-c
I love how you created a bit of suspense. I wasn't sure that she was going to say yes!
This was so charming and I loved the holding back of it, keeping it a simple beginning and leaving the future unknown.
I loved the answer lost in the rumble of thunder part.
Such a great poem.
This was wonderful, CM. You captured the essence of Hopper's romantic painting with your words.
This line brought a smile: "A bedroom light flickers on". The message from the unseen chaperone!
Nicely written -- well done...
I remember the smell of Old Spice. This piece sets a great mood. Brings me back to summer evenings in adolescence.
This has the beauty of truth..not a false move within it..tender..
Lovely!
I liked everything about your piece...but the 'Yes' did it for me...I'm a sucker for happy stories...
Thanks for sharing this...
What a lovely end to her/his day, beautifully caught in your lines.
Thank you all for your kind words--Tess inspires with her Magpies and Hopper is one of my favorite painters..c
Lovely tale, and I like the suspense until the end!
Oh how this takes me back ... to all those nights my dad would not go to sleep until I was safe inside our home ... turning the light on and off was my signal to say goodbye to whoever had walked me home! Young love .........
I love summer sounds like sandals clacking, flip-flops flipping.
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