It’s intriguing as we move through life how time and memories can color our existence. While working on my next posts, I focused on the date and realized, “In another life, this day would mean something.”
Twenty-two years ago I married a man on his birthday, following a tradition in his family and ignoring the soothsayer’s words to Caesar. We were one of those couples that neighbors looked up to and like our married friends were moving along the continuum, the timeline of life. We were together for seven years and then suddenly, were not. It was not my choice and a very painful time in my life.
“Et tu, Brute?” was very much the emotion at the time. He assured me, “Don’t worry I am not interested in your 401k.” We were not wealthy people and his decision basically put me back at the starting line. Survival is a primal instinct that overrides most any emotion. I spent the next year in survival mode and won the battle but not, as far as I am concerned, the war. His first child was born one week after our divorce.
So if we are talking about regrets, then not having a child will be on the list. However, if we are talking about how far I have come and healed, then let’s focus on that fact that I didn’t have much feeling about the date. Truth be told, I am blessed with a man who loves me and have accomplished more in spite of the pain.
It’s just another day. A good day.
Twenty-two years ago I married a man on his birthday, following a tradition in his family and ignoring the soothsayer’s words to Caesar. We were one of those couples that neighbors looked up to and like our married friends were moving along the continuum, the timeline of life. We were together for seven years and then suddenly, were not. It was not my choice and a very painful time in my life.
“Et tu, Brute?” was very much the emotion at the time. He assured me, “Don’t worry I am not interested in your 401k.” We were not wealthy people and his decision basically put me back at the starting line. Survival is a primal instinct that overrides most any emotion. I spent the next year in survival mode and won the battle but not, as far as I am concerned, the war. His first child was born one week after our divorce.
So if we are talking about regrets, then not having a child will be on the list. However, if we are talking about how far I have come and healed, then let’s focus on that fact that I didn’t have much feeling about the date. Truth be told, I am blessed with a man who loves me and have accomplished more in spite of the pain.
It’s just another day. A good day.
2 comments:
Your perspective is a beautiful thing. I don't really know what the origins of the Ides of March are, though I know the Caesar story of course, but for you there is personal meaning. But you are recreating it!
Thank you for your words at synch that touched me.
ruth-
you have a gift of seeing through the lens and bring us moments--I aspire to your ability--keep writing about the farm and paris--grazie mille for your comments
c
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